Daniel caressed the pretty girl’s cheek, making her blush as they stood in the corridor outside his apartments. She giggled as he nibbled her earlobe, whispering compliments. Since the dinner the day of his return, the noble leader of the Citadel’s soldiers had been pursuing the virginal serving-girl, sending her presents and visiting her each day. She was flattered by his words and attentions, never having dreamed that she would ever meet such an important man, let alone earn his favour.
“Please come in,” He whispered. “I need you. You’re the only girl I could ever want…” His hands clasped her waist in urgent desire as he kissed her neck softly.
“Yes…” She moaned as he drew her into his chambers. No one had ever made her feel so special. Despite her inexperience, she was almost as eager as he was. Their clothes were removed quickly, discarded around the lounge area. Daniel led her into his bedroom, moonlight bathing it in a white glow from the balcony. He laid her down, and she ran her hands over his large muscular chest. He smiled down at her.
It’s so easy, he thought to himself as he smiled, these stupid bitches really believe I care about them. I never get tired of that. Daniel grinned, coming down and kissing her, letting his weight rest atop her slender body.
The girl felt safe in his big strong arms, and kissed back enthusiastically. At first she was moaning with pleasure as he touched her, caressing her skin. Then, unexpectedly, he bit down on her lip, breaking the skin and causing blood. Then he forced himself inside her painfully, preventing her from screaming with cruel kisses. His hands stopped being gentle and instead were scratching and pulling on things that in her dreams and fantasies had always been treated with romantic gentleness. She began to cry, her body filled with fear and pain.
Daniel seemed to gain pleasure from this, which frightened her even more. He went faster, harder, driven on by her terror. He had once seemed like a noble storybook hero, big and strong and kind. Now she realized it was quite the opposite, her worst nightmares were being realized. She blacked out as he raped her, her body overwhelmed by his invading, punishing lust.
When he finished with her, Daniel felt elated. He had used her, abused her, left her bruised and in tears, and he had loved every moment of it. The power he had over these women was intoxicating. He drew a knife from his dressing table, licking his lips. This was his favourite part, and he wanted her awake, so he slapped her.
She looked up at him with fear once she was conscious again, shaking underneath him. She was too afraid to move, too frightened to make even a sound. He laughed, realizing he didn’t even know her name. He didn’t even care. She was just like the others. She belonged to him now, and always would. No one else would ever have her.
“Listen, my pretty. I’m going to stick this in you,” He said, brandishing the blade. “And then I’m going to stick this back in you,” He smiled, rubbing himself into her groin. “The last thing you’ll know before you die is that I was inside you.”
She opened her mouth to scream as Daniel lifted his arm back, preparing to plunge his dagger into her body. A strong arm caught his and another wrapped around his neck, throwing him off the bed. He looked up to see a slender man dressed in black, wearing a mask. Whoever it was, they were shorter and smaller than him. All his life he had used his size on people smaller than him. Daniel smiled.
“I’m going to enjoy beating the shit out of you, whoever the fuck you are.” Daniel said as he stood up, flexing his muscles. He lunged to catch the smaller man, but the dark figure dodged him easily, moving like a cat to one side, letting Dan crash into his wardrobe, cracking the wood.
Daniel growled, turning to lunge again. This time as he sidestepped the bigger man, the black shape kicked out, breaking Dan’s kneecap and spilling him to the ground. No one had ever hurt the big man so easily since he was a small boy. He fell to the ground and felt terror seize him. Pain had been absent since childhood, but now it was back and it scared him into trembling and a cold sweat. No one had ever made him afraid like this since his father.
“You’ve been a very bad boy, Daniel.” The figure said in a voice that reminded Dan of a wolf’s howl, terrifyingly hungry. His words echoed his father’s from ages past.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” the big man said, cowering on the floor like a child. The girl on the bed was shocked to see the mighty leader of the army shaking in terror just like he’d had her shivering a moment before. She pulled blankets around herself, watching her abuser get his just desserts.
“We’re going to have to do something about this behaviour, Daniel.” The figure continued, crossing his arms like a stern parent. “Stand up and take your punishment like a man.”
Daniel did as he was told, wincing as he tried to keep his weight off his bad leg, leaning against the wall. He was a child again, remembering how his father had said the very same things before taking off his belt.
“That’s right boy, now you get what’s coming to you.” The black silhouette said, the moonlight giving him an ominous glow around the white lines that surrounded his eyes. Daniel knelt, imagining his sexually perverted father with his pants down. But the only thing he felt in his mouth a moment later was cold steel, as the figure before him sliced through his tongue.
“Awhhhgwhadshifughh…” Daniel moaned, holding his bleeding mouth, falling back against the floor, gurgling and crying.
“I’m not your sick father, boy. I’m something far, far worse.” He felt the man’s knife slice through the tendons on both knees, immobilizing his legs. Sobbing, Daniel tried to lift himself up to the bed with his hands. He pulled himself halfway before the black demon stabbed into his hand, leaving bloodstains on the sheets.
Daniel screamed, falling back to the floor. He screamed louder when the black shadow kicked him in the groin, bringing pain where there had been pleasure not so long ago. He felt the dark man’s hands pulling his hair, lifting him up. Despite his smaller stature, the man was incredibly strong. He was thrown back on the bed, eliciting a shriek from the girl, who cowered at the upper corner inside the blankets.
“You had one sick family, Daniel. Your father and you, then the way you treated your brother…” The dark man lectured him, disgust lacing that evil voice that otherwise was as empty of feeling as a grave. Daniel stared at the man in shock. He had only told one person about that, only one person knew his most shameful secret. He thought he’d atoned, he thought his confession had earned him some forgiveness, as until now he’d never been judged…
“That’s right Dan.” The dark figure laughed, seeing his expression. “It’s me.” He pulled off his mask. In the moonlight, Daniel saw his attacker clearly, and started crying. The only person who had ever really been trustworthy was now his executioner.
As his former confidant slit the tendons in his elbows, effectively immobilizing him, Daniel could do nothing but whimper. He had died inside already, knowing that people like him could never be forgiven.
“You saved me, sir.” The girl said finally, breaking the silence she’d felt trapped within for the entire proceedings. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” The man in black laughed. “It’s your turn. You have to do to him what he did to you. Teach him a lesson.”
“What?” She said, confused. He handed her a small knife.
“Use him. Hurt him. Make him cry.”
It seemed disgusting, it seemed wrong. She could never hurt anyone. She began to tremble. But the man in black kept talking.
“Think of how he deceived you, of how he seduced you here with kind words, and then what he turned into. Do you really want to let him get away with it?”
She looked at Daniel, who had once seemed so large and frightening. Now he was the one cowering in fear, and the knife in her hand made it possible to make that fear grow. She stabbed his bicep and felt powerful when he moaned with pain. It was slow at first, as she still didn’t know about hurting someone, but then she began to enjoy it, slicing into the skin. He was covered in superficial cuts, blood covering his sheets, when she finally castrated him with a great deal of satisfaction. She felt good, knowing that she owned him, controlled him, had paid him back for the pain he’d caused.
She lifted her arm back to deal a killing blow into Daniel’s black heart, but was denied that final vengeful blow as the dark man thrust a spear through her body and into Daniel. He had removed it from the wall, where Dan had a collection of weapons hanging. They both spat up blood as they felt themselves dying, entwined together like the lovers they had never truly been.
12 comments
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January 12, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Suzanne Francis
I won’t be able to visit and critique as often, as I will be tied up editing book II, but I did want to mention that this bit is rather, ahem, stirring.
Also, I wondered why someone wouldn’t have heard Daniel’s murder, given that it was so protracted, and would have caused lots of screaming. Ditto Owen’s. Do they all have soundproof rooms or something?
January 13, 2008 at 11:07 am
nomananisland
In Owen’s chapter, I made it pretty clear the shack he’s in was far from other buildings. In the next chapter, the question of Daniel’s murder is answered — he has an entire wing of the stone-walled Citadel to himself. No one was close enough to hear it.
So what does “ahem – stirring” mean?
January 13, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Suzanne Francis
Rather more violent and sexy than the previous entries. I love it!
January 13, 2008 at 8:18 pm
nomananisland
ah. I’ll have to remember that the next time someone says “stirring” 😉
I’m glad you liked it. I have been told that these chapters are examples of some of my best writing — I find it funny when I hear something like that, because for me these were the most disturbing scenes to write. I was fundamentally surprised that this was in my imagination. For that reason, I find Donovan Reza a powerful and compelling character, perhaps terrifyingly so — because he has something of a life of his own.
January 13, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Suzanne Francis
We all have blood and fire in our subconscious minds. We have been ‘civilized’ for only a few thousand years. Our evolution goes back a million years or more. For most of those years life consisted of watching violence and committing violence, probably on a daily basis. It is hard wired. Why do you think games like ‘Halo” are so popular with teen-aged boys? It fulfills the instinctive need to hunt.
But I digress. The characters that become real to you are the best ones to work with IMHO. Even when they don’t always do what you want them to.
January 13, 2008 at 11:15 pm
nomananisland
I’m well aware of the human tendency towards violence. The thing that surprises me is that Reza’s scenes made me uncomfortable, to the point that I thought readers would hate them. Instead, I get positive feedback, to the point that one reader has emailed me to say that these are the best chapters of the book (if only those comments were here on the site!). I find it interesting that what I found most troubling apparently provoked my best work.
I also find it slightly disturbing that the character who has his own reality is also the most dangerous and always does things no one would want him to. It’s just food for thought.
January 18, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Katie
So, these last two chapters were…disturbing, and they made me uncomfortable, but they were very well written.
Despite that Reza is so cruel, I’m having a really hard time thinking of him as a bad guy.
January 18, 2008 at 6:00 pm
nomananisland
Can you elaborate on that? It’s a very interesting comment.
January 18, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Katie
Hmm..I’m having a hard time thinking of him as a bad guy because Dan and Owen are just as bad…Owen is almost casually cruel in his treatment of the boy, and Dan, well…yeah. Don’t think I need to describe Dan, you did so masterfully in the above chapter.
So, though Reza killed them in cruel and disgusting ways, it’s almost ‘the end justifies the means’.
I did have a problem with the girl using the knife so easily, and the fact that Reza killed both of them.
January 18, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Katie
please note that that’s not a problem I have with your story, it just made me squeamish.
January 19, 2008 at 5:09 pm
nomananisland
I’m trying really hard not to give hints to things, but there are certain patterns that occur throughout the book. Sometimes characters do things that happen a little unexpectedly, like the girl using the knife. Someone mentioned earlier that the group never thinks to go home (during New Dawn for example) but stays in Lamb’s house. Look at who talks to them and how before they make those decisions.
The “ends justifies the means…” Interesting point. So are you saying Dan and Owen are obviously bad people, but that Reza seems to be giving them “just desserts?”
January 19, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Katie
The “ends justifies the means…” Interesting point. So are you saying Dan and Owen are obviously bad people, but that Reza seems to be giving them “just desserts?”
nothing is obvious is this story 😛
But yes, that’s what it seems like.