Neal stood in line, playing with his boarding pass, casting glances down the corridor while he waited to board his red-eye. He counted heads again. And again.
“Where are they?” he said through gritted teeth. He ran his fingers through his dishevelled blond hair.
“Relax, Neal. They’ll be here,” the redhead behind him in line said. He never took his eyes off the magazine he was reading, having given this advice twelve times in the past fifteen minutes.
“Trust it to be my cousins that hold us up.” Neal smacked his boarding pass against his hand. “This was Alexander’s idea in the first place. He’s lucky my dad even agreed to let the rest of you come.”
“I’ve been to your family’s chalet four times, Neal. I don’t think Mr. Osborne has a problem with guests,” Owen said.
“Not you, Owen, I don’t mean you.” Neal stood up on tiptoes to peer over the crowd. “Dan, get out of the way!”
The biggest person in line shuffled to one side while rolling his eyes. “Neal, I don’t take up that much space.”
“He’s just not very good with tardiness.” Owen turned another page of the magazine. “Don’t take it personal.”
“Personally,” Neal said, moving side to side to look around Dan’s broad shoulders.
“What are you doing, dancing?” Owen smacked his friend in the arm and forcibly pulled him to a stop by tugging on his coat. “You look like an idiot.”
Neal held still, and tried to take a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
The young man in front of him turned around, shuffling slowly so as not to hit anyone with the guitar strapped to his back in a cloth gig bag. “I think you’re thinking Alex is late on purpose. But he wouldn’t do that.”
“Evan’s right,” Owen put in. “I’m betting the traffic slowed them down.”
“I’ll take that action.” The dark haired girl behind Dan tried to peek over his shoulder, and settled for sticking her head out past his thick arm. “I’ll bet you two to one that Jason fell asleep and put them behind.”
“How much? Twenty?” Dan said, joining in. She nodded and they shook on it.
“Genevieve’s going to win,” the man beside her said. You could tell just by looking that they were siblings. He was staring at the wall, but had obviously overheard the discussion.
“Ethan, when I do win, how much do I get?”
“You get twenty. If Dan was going to win, you gave him two to one odds, which means he would have made forty,” he recited, still staring at the wall.
“Nice.” Genevieve grinned. “Easiest twenty I ever made.”
“They aren’t even here yet!” Dan protested.
“Yeah, but you never went to class with Jay. He won’t let me down.”
“You don’t think the excitement of a ski vacation would keep him awake?”
Genevieve laughed. “He’s been there before, it’s his uncle’s chalet. We’re taking the red-eye, and they’re driving here. I’ve never been in a car with Jay where he didn’t fall asleep, and that includes five minutes to the store and back.”
Dan turned green.
“Dude, it’s twenty bucks, not your life savings.” Owen looked up from his magazine for once.
“Yeah, but I owe Evan forty.” Everyone but Neal and Ethan burst out laughing.
A moment later, two young men came sprinting up the corridor. The one in the lead had dark hair and eyes to match, and was obviously an athlete. The slighter youth behind him had short blond hair and was struggling to keep up. They came to a stop at the back of the line, waving amiably at the group from a short distance.
“About time!” Neal yelled across the line to them.
“He’s glad to see you,” Owen translated, smacking Neal in the chest when he rolled his eyes.
“Jason fell asleep in the car, I had to wake him,” Alex shrugged. Jason, the slight blond youth, blushed, grinning sheepishly.
Genevieve held out her hand and Dan grimaced, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a few bills. He shrugged at Evan.
“You owe me, dude,” Evan chuckled. The line finally started to move as the passengers began to board.
They found their seats quickly, having been grouped together. The eight friends chatted, catching up on things. Spread out among different universities, this was their first reunion in months. They were doubly excited, as Neal’s father had graciously given them access to his skiing chalet in Whistler.
Relieved to finally have the trip underway, Neal settled into his seat smiling. He chatted briefly with his friends, and then slowly drifted off to sleep, looking forward to the adventures that were sure to begin the next day.
Bonus Chapter – A Quick Question
12 comments
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November 18, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Azetidine
Having so many people talking together almost immediately, even if it is true to life, makes it harder for me to get to know any one of them. Especially the protagonist. Since this is the beginning, I feel like that’s who I should get to know, even if his friends are important later.
Aside: found you through comments on Tales of MU. 🙂
November 18, 2007 at 7:45 pm
nomananisland
Thanks for dropping by, Azetidine!
The most difficult thing for me and this story right now is the balance between making it interesting enough at the beginning to draw readers in, and at the same time give them enough about the characters so that they care. Action versus characterization. Especially when this story revolves around a large cast, and who you think might be the protagonist might change from chapter to chapter. I like to think of them as an ensemble cast, but that too is difficult to balance.
It’s not the first time I’ve heard this, so I’m going to give some serious thought to how the book starts. However, I hope you’ll keep reading and that the story itself grabs you.
December 6, 2007 at 9:42 pm
Han/shot/first!
So far I like it — they seem like people I know. Bickering and bantering, and just being “the crew.” Can’t wait to see what happens next!
December 6, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Odin's Raven
Neal reminds me of my cousin, perfectionist grammar nazi. Personal versus personally — you have to be uptight to take that seriously. I’m glad Owen hit him!
December 14, 2007 at 3:16 pm
4. The Middle - The Plane « No Man an Island
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December 24, 2007 at 2:01 am
sonjanitschke
As some others have said I found this chapter rather daunting due to the mass introduction of the characters.
But other than that…interesting.
December 24, 2007 at 2:50 am
nomananisland
Thanks sonja! I’m debating what to do about the ensemble cast of characters — I wrote this chapter to make chapter 4 easier to read, but it didn’t seem to help. I need the whole cast, but maybe I can think of a better way to introduce them.
January 8, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Anonymous
that’s better gavin
nice touch with the added chapters to intro the cast
it flowed right in there but of course you knew that part of the story all along hope i can read some more
hope work isn’t making you too tired this week
see you friday
d w
February 8, 2008 at 7:55 pm
lynn doiron
I have to agree with the initial comment regarding getting to know a character. I just don’t care enough about any one individual here to go on, nor does the collective energy or banter of the group encourage me to click the “next” link. I will read on because of the nature of this novel blog, but only for, let me look at my watch, a couple minutes. Unless it grabs me and I forget the watch because I’m compelled to read on and on . . .
[I heard about your experiment here from pbertram blog]
February 8, 2008 at 10:10 pm
nomananisland
Thanks for giving it a chance — I don’t expect this experiment to work for everyone, even with the new bonus chapters and revised beginning improving things, the structure of the entire book is likely to be off-putting for some. I hope you end up liking it, but I’m grateful you even took a look.
It’s not something I’d ever take personally. Not everyone is a fan of Star Wars, or Superman, or Lord of the Rings, or books in general. Everyone has their own taste. Those who like the above tend to be fanatical, and don’t understand why other people don’t share their enthusiasm — which doesn’t make sense to me either, because not everyone likes the same things, same logic.
I hope for some readers that are fanatical, but I don’t expect any. I am very grateful for the loyal readers I do have. If it turns out that the only person that’s obsessed with No Man an Island is me, that makes sense, because I wrote it to be the book I would want to read.
February 8, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Han/shot/first!
How many times did you revise the beginning? Because I’ve been here before. 😉
February 9, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Kaeleigh
So far, I like it. I agree with what the others have said, the characters are a little overwhelming. But I haven’t read the ‘alternate car ride’ so we’ll see……….